Birthday

Today is my Al-Anon birthday (versus my belly button birthday)! Three years I have been in the program. What a good opportunity for reflection!

Three years ago I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting here in Charlotte. I was in such pain. So confused. The relationships with my sister and my mother had taken a major hit over the holidays. I had spent Christmas with my then boyfriend at his parent’s place in Oregon. Our relationship wasn’t doing so well either, in part due to the explosion he had seen between me, my sister and my mom at Thanksgiving. I don’t know why everything boiled up that year, but boy did it ever.

Old hurts, old resentments, me telling my mother she needed to get on a plane and leave from my sister’s rather than driving home with me. Things were said and done in the turmoil of emotions that were going on that will never be undone.

I can accept that now. I know there is no going back. I can look at my part in the whole mess though. And boy did I have a part in it.

The relationship with my sister is that much stronger for it now. I think we both shared something of ourselves, that although painful, it was good to know about each other. I always pictured her having weathered the chaos of our childhood so much better than I did. How wrong I was! She was just much better at not letting it show.

The relationship with my mom, who I consider my qualifier, is better too. Different, but better. I don’t jump in when she throws out the opportunities to embroil myself in her difficulties, my sister’s difficulties, or anyone else’s difficulties. I have learned to keep my mouth shut. I have learned they each have their own Higher Power and it isn’t me. I can’t fix what isn’t right for them. In most cases I don’t even offer advice now, because I become resentful if they don’t take it. Instead I offer sympathy and a sounding board and then change the subject.

As for my program, well I’m not as far along as I pictured. By my plan I was supposed to be done with Step 4 by this time last year and instead I’m just getting started on it. However, this program has taught me that it is okay and that I don’t have to abide by any time table but the one my Higher Power has planned for me.

The Holidays Are Over…..

Back into dealing with reality and real life – the good and the boring! The boring part is all the stuff you saw your parents do as a kid but never really thought about being part of your adult life when you grew up – bills, laundry, cleaning the house, grocery shopping, etc. The good part is I had a great holiday time with friends and family.

 

I have many good things in my life and I don’t always stop to think about them and be grateful in the moment. So I’m going to share a short gratitude list with you today.

1. My job. I like what I do and every day goes by very quickly with new challenges and new things to learn. I like the people I work with.
2. My home. I like my townhouse and the part of town I live in very much.
3. My friends. I have great friends in my life. From the ones I’ve known for more than 2 decades, to the new friends I’ve made since I came into the Al-Anon program. All of them enrich my life more than they will ever know.
4. My family. Granted, this is part of why I ended up in this program, but I’m grateful I have them, that I love them and they love me and I am not alone in this world.
5. My pets. They share their love so unconditionally, you just can’t help feeling a moment of happiness when they are happy to be snuggled up to you on the couch.
6. My health. I am not “healthy” necessarily due to my weight, but I’m also not disabled in any way and for that I’m grateful.
7. My program. I cannot even think of how screwed up I would be if I hadn’t found Al-Anon 3 years ago. My recovery birthday is next week – January 11. I know it will take time to undo the 39 years it took for me to get into the program, but I can see the progress and that is what is important.
8. My pottery. I have found an artistic outlet that I enjoy far more than I could have ever imagined. And I get to make “gratitude” or “god” boxes too!

I’m digging into my second year of service as District Representative. 2010 feels like a blur and I’m pretty sure it was just yesterday that I met with Dick R. for him to turn over files, etc to me. I’m feeling a little more confident of my abilities, and I’m sure it will work as my service sponsor says that I will feel like I know what I’m doing just about the time my 3 year term of service ends.

 

I hope all of you had a great holiday and a Happy New Year to all of us! My your program bring you serenity and joy this year.

 

Hugs,

 

Angela B.

2011 Winter Roundup!!!! And Gift Basket Silent Auction!

Well, it's that time of year again! The Winter Round Up is Saturday, January 22 at

St. Matthews Catholic Church
8015 Ballantyne Commons Parkway
Charlotte, NC 28277

Registration Begins at 8:45 AM; Program 9:45AM – 3PM
A flyer with detailed program information will be on the District 5 website http://www.charlottealanon.org/ or available from your Group Representative.

$8.00 for Al-Anon & AA Members
$5.00 Alateen

2011 District 5 Winter Round Up Gift Basket & Baked Goods/Homemade Craft Silent Auction

Whooo-hoo! Possibly the most exciting, fulfilling day this winter is almost here! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we are changing it up a little and are having a Gift Basket AND Baked/Frozen Food/Homemade Craft Silent Auction to support District 5 and functions that affect our District.

We are asking your group to donate a basket, but are also encouraging individuals to donate an auctionable item(s) as well. The individual donations do not necessarily need to be a part of the group’s gift basket. Get together with your friends and schedule a making/baking/basket assembly party!! We have had so much success with the talent that is so abundant in our fellowship. We've had art, photographs, sailing lessons, fiddle lessons, Spirit Fairies, apple cake, hand knitted scarves, crocheted blankets, terrariums, dog treats, frozen dinners, hair cuts, and many, many other items. The spa, coffee, tea, knitted/crocheted items, gardening, pet, Al-Anon literature, food, breakfast, soup, cookies/sweets, movie, spiritual, good luck and book themes are all great ideas for your donation. The Pet basket last year was an absolute hit!!!! Keeping the basket theme to a “spiritual/serene nature” is encouraged. Put on your thinking cap and donate your specialty for the auction. You may be very, very surprised to see how much your item brings in for District 5!!

If you have any questions, please post as a comment to the blog and I'll answer as best I can.
Thank you for all that you do!! All contributions are sincerely appreciated!

Please forward this along to everyone in your addressbook who is a member of Al-Anon. I look forward to seeing you on January 22!!