Service and Balance

Hi all,

So tomorrow makes my 6th District meeting as District Representative, meaning I’m nearly half way through my 3 year term. It has certainly been a learning experience!

I have learned so many things along the way. I have a whole new level of respect for those who have had this position before me. Wow, is about all I can say. I have learned more than I ever thought I wanted to know about Al-Anon/Alateen. I can now explain, in detail, how we function from the individual groups to the level of the World Service Office and how we are organized from the groups to WSO.

I have learned too how amazing our program of recovery can be. I don’t think I felt it any stronger than our last District meeting. 20+ of us, discussing finances, without raised voices or name calling. Amazing. The matters were discussed, ideas brought forward and ultimately a decision was made. Now I know some who would have groaned and said how painful it was to have that meeting. Well, yes, maybe it was. But our Concepts tell us that “participation is the key to harmony” and I have seen it action. To have that kind of discussion and still walk out of the room exchanging hugs and feeling satisfied that we had all been heard.

I’m working hard to strike a balance in my life currently. It is a tough proposition. I’m single, so I am responsible for my life – the cleaning of the house, maintaining of the car, paying of the bills, laundry, taking care of the little bit of yard I have, maintenance around the house, etc; no one to share those tasks with me. I have a lot of outside interests and friends. A professional organization that I am in service with, students at UNCC that I work with, I make pottery, and when I can, I really enjoy spending time with my friends. I have obligations to my family. I still need to do my mom’s taxes. I am planning a trip to see my sister at the end of April. And there is Al-Anon and all it means in my life. I’m still working on my steps so there is that part to consider. There is my service as DR and the three meetings per week I like to attend. Oh, and downtime. I forgot about that. You know couch potato, don’t want to do a thing times. Oh and exercise. Yep, would like to fit that in somewhere. And taking care of my health – maintenance visits for thyroid, essential tremor, mammogram, yearly vision exam, dental, etc .

All in all, it is tough to balance this. I will say that I like this life better than the crazy 70 hour work week life I was living 3.5 years ago. But it is a change, and I may have swung the pendulum too far from that “work is all I do” time to this time.

So, you may ask, where is the up side in all I’ve rambled on about? Here is what I’m learning. I’m learning to love Angela B, for who I am right here, right now. Overweight, struggling to find balance, occasional moments of doubt and frustration at work, a mom who is growing older and I need to think about long term care, etc. I am doing my best to not view any of this as negative or positive, but rather simply the facts of my life as it currently exists.

It is so easy to classify things, events and emotions as good or bad, and we fall into it so easily. For instance I’ve been grieving quite a bit for the last week or so over losing my dad a year ago. Several times I have caught myself beating myself up that what I’m feeling is “bad” and I just need to “get over it.” When I do this, I have been trying hard to step back and accept that these are emotions I need to deal with and that stuffing them away is not going to help.

Okay, so now you have been treated to what amounts a journal entry for the day.  Time to get back to my job.

Hugs to you all and I look forward to seeing many of you at tomorrow’s District meeting.

Angela B.