"weight" it's Tuesday

Okay, so yes it is a corny title to today's blog.  A play on words after just completing an online health assessment as part of my company's health insurance program for the coming year.  As a large company we are self insured and therefore any claims are really paid by us the employees.  You know I didn't learn this until I had been with the company for 3 years?  They are really pushing hard on several fronts to help us become healthier individuals and in effect control our own insurance costs.

So, for those of you know me personally, you know I am overweight.  This is a very hard thing for me and something I have struggled with since I hit puberty.  First it is hard to deal with, but second it is even harder to admit out loud (or in writing).  It triggers all kinds of emotional reactions. 

It also ties in super strongly to all my self esteem issues.  Never the pretty, popular cheerleader girl in school even though I would have given ANYTHING to be that girl.  Then this whole issue of my self esteem leads into my lack of romantic relationships through the years.  I did finally fall in love 4 years ago, but it was not meant to be.  We made it through 2 years of a long distance relationship before it came apart.  The sad part is I lost a friend of 15 years.

I'm sure as I start to dig into my 4th Step I will find all kinds of useful ah-ha moments that help me start to come to grips with this significant issue.

Thanks everyone for letting me throw out random topics here.

Hugs,
Angela